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When your child starts skipping family dinners or becomes increasingly anxious around meals, it can be hard to know what's normal and what's cause for concern. The same goes for a friend or partner who insists they've just “gotten healthy” but starts avoiding social events involving food or eating in secret. Signs of an eating disorder can be subtle, especially when behaviors are hidden or mistaken for healthy habits.

I know that firsthand. When I developed an 

, it was easy to pass my behaviors off as self-control. I told myself I was simply being mindful about what I ate, even as my relationship with food became increasingly rigid.

But eating disorders aren't lifestyle choices. They're serious mental health conditions that can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, or body size. Here's how to recognize an eating disorder, why they're often missed, and next steps to find support.

What are the signs of an eating disorder?

Common signs of an eating disorder include changes in eating habits, exercise routines, body image, mood, and physical health. While symptoms vary by eating disorder type, many overlap, says 

, director of the Eating Disorders Program at Psychology Partners Group.

Not everyone experiences the same symptoms, so look for patterns and changes over time rather than any single behavior. And remember: You can't tell whether someone has an eating disorder just by looking at them.

Changes in eating habits are often among the earliest warning signs, though they can be easy to mistake for personal preferences. According to Rosen and Melodie Simmons, DHA, LPC, CEDS-C, a clinical instructor at Equip, signs include:

Cutting out food groups, counting calories, labeling foods as “good” or “bad,” or becoming preoccupied with nutrition labels.

Becoming distressed when meals don't go as planned or familiar foods aren't available.

Skipping family dinners or withdrawing from social events involving food.

 Preparing elaborate meals for others without eating them, cutting food into tiny pieces, or eating unusually slowly.

Hiding or hoarding food, eating large amounts in private, or frequently visiting the bathroom after meals.

Exercise may become concerning when someone feels compelled to work out, regardless of how they're feeling or what else is happening in their life. Per the experts, signs to look out for include:

Feeling unable to skip workouts, even when sick, injured, or exhausted.

 Becoming preoccupied with step counts, calories burned, or exercise targets.

 Feeling the need to “earn” food through movement or “make up for” something eaten.

 Hiding workouts or prioritizing exercise over relationships and responsibilities.

Some eating disorders involve intense concerns about appearance. According to Rosen and Simmons, potential signs include:

 Repeatedly examining, pinching, or measuring body parts.

Checking weight frequently or letting the number influence mood or food choices.

Suddenly wearing oversized clothing or constantly trying on clothes to check their fit.

 Skipping social events or other experiences because of body image concerns.

Changes in mood, thinking, and relationships

Emotional and social changes can appear before physical symptoms. Rosen and Simmons say signs include:

 Becoming distressed around meals or changes in routine.

 Feeling upset after eating or judging food choices.

 Holding to strict standards or thinking in all-or-nothing terms.

Pulling away from friends, family, or activities previously enjoyed.

Avoiding conversations about eating, exercise, or health.

Experiencing mood swings or symptoms of depression.

Eating disorders can affect nearly every system in the body, but physical symptoms aren't always visible. Someone can experience serious health consequences at any body size.

According to Rosen and Simmons, here’s 

how eating disorders affect physical health

Weight fluctuations or, in children and teens, slower growth or failure to gain weight as expected.

 Unusual tiredness, weakness, lightheadedness, fainting, or difficulty staying warm.

Hair thinning, dry skin, brittle nails, or 

 Stomach pain, bloating, constipation, or other gastrointestinal discomfort.

Getting sick more often or experiencing injuries like stress fractures.

 Swollen cheeks, dental problems, or marks on the hands associated with repeated vomiting.

How do signs differ by type of eating disorder?

. Some involve restricting food, others involve binge eating or compensatory behaviors, and some have nothing to do with body image. While each type has its own patterns, many signs overlap. Someone's symptoms can also change over time.

If you're trying to make sense of what you're noticing in yourself or a loved one, understanding the 

 can be a helpful starting point. Here's how signs of some of the most common diagnoses compare.

Why are eating disorder signs so easy to miss?

Eating disorder signs and symptoms often go unnoticed because they develop gradually, resemble socially accepted health habits, or happen in private. Misconceptions about who develops eating disorders can also make symptoms harder to recognize, sometimes even for the person experiencing them. Here are some of the common reasons that eating disorder signs get missed.

“Eating disorders are deceiving and camouflage themselves as ‘healthy’ changes such as cutting out carbs, becoming vegan, tracking macros, or exercising more,” says Simmons. “Culturally, these habits are often praised, which can delay recognition.”

, whose intense training schedules and rigid nutrition routines are often viewed as dedication or even required for performance. 

 like pushing through injuries, restricting food for weigh-ins, or obsessively tracking calories or macros can be dismissed as part of the sport, making it harder to recognize when these habits cross into disordered or dangerous territory.

While these habits don't automatically indicate an eating disorder, 

 can make it harder to recognize when they're causing harm.

Many people still associate eating disorders with extreme thinness, but most people with eating disorders aren't underweight. This misconception can prevent people, especially those in larger bodies, from being taken seriously or diagnosed.

Eating disorders are also often overlooked in boys and men, people of color, LGBTQ+ individuals, and those with limited access to care. 

, stigma, and assumptions about who's at risk can further delay diagnosis and treatment.

Many symptoms—like purging, bingeing, or overexercising—happen in private, making them difficult to spot even for close friends and family, says Rosen.

“Eating disorders thrive on secrecy and often develop slowly over time,” says Michael Kowalski, MA, a therapist at Equip. “An individual with an eating disorder may start out with small changes like choosing the low-fat option or changing snacks to fruits and vegetables before it gradually becomes more noticeable.”

That’s why it’s so important to trust your gut if something feels off, adds Simmons. Subtle changes can be just as revealing as visible physical signs.

The person may not realize it’s an eating disorder

It's possible to have an eating disorder without knowing, especially when changes in their eating habits happen slowly and start to feel like a normal part of their routine, says Kowalski.

“Normalization makes it more challenging to see those early warning signs until it’s too late,” he says. “That’s why I would recommend having a conversation with your loved one whenever you see any of these behaviors in order to understand what the motivations are, how rigid the dietary rules are, and how much these behaviors are impacting their life and health.”

 often accompany eating disorders. Because these symptoms can exist on their own, it’s easy to focus on the emotional distress and overlook the disordered behaviors driving it.

“When anxiety increases and flexibility decreases, that’s a red flag,” says Simmons.

How signs can look different in kids, teens, men, and athletes

Eating disorder warning signs don't look the same for everyone. What you notice in a child may differ from what you see in a teen, adult man, or athlete. And sometimes, those signs can be easy to mistake for everyday habits or healthy routines.

According to Kowalski, here's what those signs might look like in different groups:

. Signs may include limited food choices, distress around meals, or delayed growth / falling off their growth chart. Kowalski says parents might also notice uneaten school lunches or avoidance of food-related celebrations, which can be mistaken for picky eating.

 Signs of an eating disorder in teens include skipping family meals, making excuses not to eat, wearing oversized clothing, refusal to eat certain foods, hyperfixation on “eating clean,” or hiding food and exercise habits. These are often dismissed as typical teenage behavior, especially as teens become more independent.

 may center on building muscle or “bulking” rather than losing weight. Signs of an eating disorder in men and boys can also include rigid food rules, an intense focus on protein, or exercising despite injury or exhaustion.

 Restrictive eating and excessive training can be mistaken for dedication. Watch for rigid fueling rules, anxiety about missing workouts, or exercising through injuries.

Disordered eating vs. an eating disorder: what’s the difference?

 is how rigid and disruptive the behaviors have become, according to Kowalski. Both can involve an unhealthy relationship with food, exercise, or body image, but eating disorders are diagnosable mental health conditions that can significantly affect someone's well-being.

 isn’t necessarily a sign of disordered eating. But when someone feels unable to break food rules or starts avoiding social situations involving meals, it may signal something more serious.

That’s why it's important to look beyond the behavior itself and consider what's motivating it and whether it interferes with daily life. Importantly, if someone’s eating behaviors are having a negative impact on their life, they deserve support regardless of whether or not they meet the criteria for an eating disorder.

If you notice signs of eating disorders in yourself or someone you love, start by talking about your concerns and reaching out for professional support. You don't need to be certain there's an eating disorder or wait for symptoms to become severe to take that first step.

If someone is in immediate medical danger, seek emergency medical care. If you or someone you love is experiencing a mental health crisis, call or text 988 in the U.S. for immediate support.

 when you're worried about someone you love. You don't need the perfect words, though. Starting with compassion and curiosity can make a difference.

how to help someone with an eating disorder

 Share what you've noticed without jumping to conclusions. You might say, "I've noticed meals seem stressful lately, and I wanted to see how you're doing."

Avoid comments about appearance or willpower:

 Even well-intentioned remarks about weight or how much someone eats can make them feel judged. Instead, focus on changes you've noticed in their well-being.

 Ask open-ended questions and listen without trying to immediately fix the problem. They may not be ready to talk, and that's okay. Let them know you're there whenever they need you.

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