This post was written by an Equip patient who wanted to share her eating disorder recovery story. Personal accounts are extremely powerful, and show that lasting recovery is always possible. If you'd like to share your recovery story, email recoverystories@equip.health.

I struggled with a vicious cycle of binging and obsessive exercise/restrictive eating for years. I didn’t recognize things were out of control until I was no longer able to hide these behaviors (as well) from loved ones and was having visible changes to my body (sadly my primary concern at the time). At the same time, I was going through a brutal fertility struggle, suffering 5 miscarriages in 4 years. This put my mental health in a dark place and made me incredibly angry with my body.

I learned about Equip through my insurance and figured it wouldn’t hurt to reach out. Little did I know how much my year of treatment would impact my life in such an incredible way.

I had struggled with bulimia in high school to the point of hospitalization, and knew signs that I needed help. However, I still questioned it at first—do I really have an eating disorder? I could be so much worse. I have been so much worse. My thoughts about my body and myself in general were so unhealthy and routinely obsessive that I took it as normal to hate myself and beat myself up over every minute decision that didn’t align with my idea of “perfection.” It was my way of distracting myself from my emotional pain, and while it was temporarily effective, it ultimately became the source of even more pain and hardship in my life. It was negatively affecting my relationships with others and, of course, with myself.

At first when I enrolled with Equip I went through the motions. I went to every session but wasn’t convinced it was necessary. At first, my husband didn’t completely understand why I couldn’t just change my behavior and, to be honest, neither did I. Everyone used to tell me how “healthy” and “strong” I was and looked, so in my mind if I could only stop binge eating things would be ok again. Unraveling my beliefs about bodies in general, as well as the judgment surrounding them and eating and lifestyle choices was extremely eye-opening to me. I never imagined that I would get to a place where I would not only be able to use hunger cues to intuitively eat (mine had been absent for quite a while) and no longer feel the impulse to binge or restrict, but also be able to accept my body for the gift that it is in spite of its appearance.

Equip not only helped me to be kinder and more accepting of myself, but of others as well. It helped me focus on my core values, which certainly do not include vanity and judgement in the way I had been incorporating them into my existence. It also helped me recognize triggers and argue with the thoughts or outside messages that told me my life would be better if I were thinner. I know firsthand how untrue that is.

My primary goal at this stage of life has been to sustain a healthy pregnancy—my husband and I have both deeply desired the opportunity to have children. When I graduated from Equip in February of 2025, little did I know that I had just become pregnant after being unable to conceive for two years. Beyond that, I certainly did not know that I would be carrying that pregnancy to term. I am currently typing this while bouncing on my birth ball waiting for my son’s arrival at 37 weeks pregnant (due 10/27/25!), and am filled with gratitude as to how much Equip set me up for success over the past nine months. I have watched my body grow (not just in my belly) and the scale rise each week, and while there have been some negative thoughts and feelings that have come up at times, I have been able to navigate them with general ease. I have nourished my body and never skipped a meal or used unhealthy coping mechanisms—not only out of protection for my baby, but also in order to honor my very clear hunger cues. My husband has on more than one occasion commented on how proud he is of my ability to take care of my body in a way I was not before.

I wholeheartedly know Equip changed my life and helped me bring life into this world.