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Body Image

Understanding EDs

News & Research

Treatment & Recovery

Food & Fitness

(Diet) Culture & Society

Given the amount of appearance-focused messages that bombard us daily from every direction, you’d be hard pressed to find someone who feels completely neutral about their body. Advertisers and influencers force us to focus on our “problem areas,” heavily filtered social media photos lead us to compare our bodies to ones that don’t even really exist, and tired 

 trick us into viewing our bodies as objects that require constant monitoring and modification. With that amount of noise constantly ringing in our ears, the phrase “body neutrality” can feel like an oxymoron.

And yet, body neutrality is actually an achievable approach that not only helps cancel out the constant deluge of appearance-focused messaging, but can also power eating disorder recovery. Equip Senior Program Development Lead Ally Duvall says body neutrality was instrumental in helping her heal from her eating disorder. “I spent so many years wanting to distance myself from my body—begging for change, thinness, and confidence,” she says. “Body neutrality gave me the permission to lay down my judgments and hatred, without the pressure to pick up positivity in its place.”

So what is body neutrality, how does it differ from body positivity and other anti-

 movements, and can it really help those in eating disorder treatment move toward full recovery? Here’s everything you need to know about body neutrality and its potential role in recovery and beyond.

When you hear the phrase “body neutrality,” you might assume that it means cultivating complete indifference to how your body looks. That’s decidedly 

 the definition of body neutrality, which has more to do with appreciating what our bodies 

“I view body neutrality as the midpoint between self-defamation and radical self-love,” says Equip Clinical Partnerships Representative and registered dietitian Christina Fattore, MS, RDN. “It’s the idea that we can appreciate and respect our bodies without needing to unequivocally love everything about ourselves, especially on days when that may seem close to impossible. Body neutrality shifts the focus away from our bodies as our defining feature, and instead frames our bodies as a small part of who we are as a whole.”

While the phrase itself seems to have originated around 2015, it picked up popularity when eating disorder specialists online started using “body neutrality” as a paradigm for building a healthier relationship to food, exercise, and body image. Anne Poirier, a certified 

 counselor and eating disorder specialist, is 

 with defining body neutrality as “prioritizing the body’s function and what it can do rather than its appearance.” In her book, 

, Poirier underscored the notion that we don’t have to unconditionally love our bodies or hate them; we can simply choose to feel neutral about them.

Licensed psychotherapist Tessa Gordon, LMFT

, who has recovered from an eating disorder herself, says she sees body neutrality as a way to let go of any attachment to what our bodies are or aren’t and actively tune out body-focused noise. “It can be a step towards greater body acceptance, but it doesn't have to be,” she says. “Some may be able to love their body; my hope was that I would be able to live in mine. To me, that is body neutrality: when your body is no longer center stage requiring so much focus and attention, and steps into the background or becomes a supporting character, so your life can take center stage.”

Duvall believes that body neutrality lets us meet ourselves on neutral ground, rather than on the roller coaster of diet culture and appearance-obsessed chatter. “When we can see our bodies as the way we exist in this world, we remove the pressures to love, hate, or pick ourselves apart,” she says. “My body is the way I give my husband a hug and feel the cool pool water on my skin. It’s my way of traveling and how I experience cotton-candy sunsets.” This shift allows us to view our bodies as a means for experiencing life, rather than an object that’s meant to look a certain way.

Explore: Freeform is Equip’s free, self-led body image program.


30 minutes to better body image

How does body neutrality relate to body positivity, body liberation, and body acceptance?

Today, there are (thankfully!) so many approaches to navigating how we feel about our bodies that the terminology can get a bit confusing. Between 

body positivity, body liberation, and body acceptance

, it can be difficult to discern the differences between each concept and decide which approach will be most helpful for you.

Because all of these approaches come from a place of rejecting diet culture and redefining your relationship with your body, they all share some qualities, Duvall explains. “Body image theories like body neutrality, body positivity and body liberation exist on a spectrum. There are no clear boundaries on where one begins or ends, however each theory has unique components,” she says.

Body positivity is perhaps the most well known of these approaches, and also the one that’s been around longest: it dates back to the 

. “Body positivity was built on the work of black, fat body liberationists, who not only focused on loving your body as it is but finding freedom from the oppressive systems we live in,” Duvall explains.

As it exists today (largely in the form of social media hashtags), many people believe body positivity has been adopted and co-opted in ways that diminish its original intent.

In contrast to body positivity, body liberation 

 a form of “freedom from social and political systems of oppression that designate certain bodies as more worthy, healthy, and desirable than others,” and is closely tied to social justice issues. “Body liberation is a thread that can flow in any of these theories as it exists to create a world of body freedom—both collectively and individually,” Duvall says. Author Chrissy King dives deeper into this concept and understanding the impacts of racism and diet culture in her book, 

Body acceptance and body neutrality are similar in that both are centered on simply accepting and remaining objective about the fact that your body is yours, regardless of its weight, shape, size, or state. However, while body acceptance has a slightly positive spin and is more closely tied to the original Fat Acceptance movement, body neutrality is truly that: achieving complete neutrality about your body, not viewing it as good 

 bad, and learning to focus on its functions rather than its form.

While different theories and approaches may work for different people, Fattore believes body neutrality may feel like the most realistic or achievable goal for some. “Even as an eating disorder dietitian, I would be lying if I said that I am always able to practice body positivity!” she says. “Body neutrality allows us to move away from persistent negative self talk, while still accepting that we may not feel great about ourselves every minute of every day.”

What are the benefits of body neutrality?

According to Fattore, body neutrality empowers people to value themselves on the basis of their 

 worth, rather than how they feel about their 

 appearance at any given time. “It allows us to appreciate the ways our body can act as a vehicle for our successes, rather than as a defining characteristic of them,” she says. “Body neutrality challenges us to permanently shift the conversation away from our appearance, and in doing so helps us reclaim the nuances of our identity.”

In her experience, Gordon has seen many different benefits of body neutrality, including:

Providing space for you to be where you are in your relationship with your body, no matter what that look like

Decreasing attachment to how your body looks

Encouraging gratitude toward your body for existing and being your vessel to carry you through life

Providing space to acknowledge the ways your body does and 

Exposing and encouraging the exploration of social messages, beliefs, systemic oppression, and more

Offering a more realistic and attainable goal than body positivity

“Body neutrality can be an incredibly powerful stepping stone away from the harmful ways we are taught to engage with our bodies,” Duvall says.

The biggest potential drawback of body neutrality is its emphasis on the body’s function, which can be problematic for some. “Body neutrality can sometimes be focused on gratitude for abilities—for instance, ‘I’m grateful that my legs get me down the stairs or that my arms can lift my favorite surfboard,’” Duvall says. “While this can be incredibly helpful compared to the previous negative statements you might have said to yourself, relying on ability-based gratitudes still encourages a body relationship with conditions.” In other words, this approach values the body based on its ability to do things; if those abilities changed or went away, so would the body’s value. For some, this not only detracts from the body’s inherent value, but can also be considered 

“Body neutrality can be ableist as it focuses on the body’s functionality and appreciation of what the body can do, and emphasizes ‘not noticing’ your body,” Gordon says. “For those living with chronic pain or disabilities, or those whose bodies may not function in the same way they once did, the privilege to ‘not be aware’ of their body, may not be something they are afforded.”

However, even though some may find this to be a limitation or drawback to body neutrality, there are still ways to expand and apply body neutrality in less function-focused ways. “What if your legs can no longer support you down the stairs or your shoulder injury impacts your ability to carry your surfboard?” Duvall says. “Body neutrality rooted in conditional acceptance can be a sneaky, slippery slope into a harmful relationship with your body. One way to challenge this is to incorporate other types of gratitude alongside the ones based on physical ability. For example, ‘I’m grateful that my presence encourages other people to feel comfortable being themselves’ or ‘I’m grateful that my sense of humor brings myself and others joy.’”

Though everyone’s relationship to their body is unique, many experts consider body neutrality to be a widely applicable and adaptable strategy. “Everyone can benefit from body neutrality!” Fattore says. “I think the concept itself makes self-acceptance seem a lot more attainable, regardless of where someone is at in their self-love journey.”

Gordon emphasizes the fact that a huge benefit of body neutrality is its attainability. “We live in a society that is constantly telling us that our bodies, what we look like, our gender, our size, our shape, our age, our appearance, how we dress—all of this is a measurement of our value and worth,” she says. “The messages that certain bodies hold more value and worth than others are bombarding us 24/7. Asking someone swimming in that to take up body positivity is beyond a Herculean task. Body neutrality offers a life raft to help us begin to get out.”

Duvall agrees with the idea that anyone can adopt and apply the principles of body neutrality—especially for those who have particularly fraught relationships with their body. “Body neutrality may be even more supportive for those who have felt distanced from their body or judgment towards their body, or have identities that are outside of what society considers ‘ideal,’” she says. “Body neutrality can be a way to access a body peace they may have yet to experience.”

How can body neutrality fit into eating disorder recovery?

“The pursuit of body neutrality is so important in the context of eating disorder recovery,” Fattore says. “It is much easier to prioritize healing when we learn to value all the ways our bodies serve us, rather than how they look. Body neutrality allows us to say ‘I may not love what I see in the mirror today, but I am still worthy of nourishment and self-care.’”

Because body positivity may feel unattainable—particularly to those in early recovery—Gordon believes body neutrality could be a more practical approach. “For so many, body positivity can feel akin to toxic positivity,” she says. “Encouraging people struggling with an eating disorder to ‘love their body’ can feel inauthentic, and, as I like to say, ‘floofy.’ Body neutrality can feel like a more realistic first step when coming from a place of such body hatred.”

Duvall adds that while actively working toward body neutrality can take time, the results make it worthwhile—particularly for those who have long struggled with body image issues. “Many people in eating disorder recovery find body neutrality to be the ‘aha’ moment after years of body distress,” she says. “People often expect body image to magically heal itself as someone goes through eating disorder treatment. While body image distress may decrease through treatment, taking active steps to incorporate body neutrality in your recovery can help you build a more neutral foundation to exist on.” (

Do You Address Body Image Issues in Eating Disorder Treatment?

While the concept of body neutrality may seem like a nice idea on paper, you need to put it into practice to feel its positive effects. “This isn’t something you read about, believe, and immediately feel transformed,” Duvall says. “It requires active reflection, reshaping your automatic thoughts, and finding the places you can begin shifting towards neutrality.”

If you’re not sure where to start, here are some practical tips from Fattore, Gordon, and Duvall to start incorporating body neutrality into your everyday reality:

Start taking stock of how your body enables you to show up in the world (not only physically, but in every other non-aesthetic way). “Focus on all the ways your body allows you to do the things you love,” Fattore says. “Identify the various ways your body serves you each day.” That might mean allowing you to feel the sunshine on your shoulder, to experience a hug from someone you love, to taste your favorite drink, to sit in a comfortable chair and read a book.

2. Become more mindful of your automatic thoughts.

—pausing to notice your thoughts and bringing awareness to how your thoughts show up physically and emotionally,” Duvall says. “Then you can explore what it’s like to shift those thoughts into more neutral, acceptance-based messages to your body.”

3. Once you’re more aware of your thoughts, start responding to them

. “Maybe you notice your mind veering into judgments on how your legs look in shorts,” Duvall says. “Once you notice that judgment, take a breath and respond with, ‘my body is my way of existing with the world’ or ‘my body’s value is not based on jean shorts.’ This may feel out of place or silly, but saying these responses out loud or writing them down can be helpful in making them stick for future moments.”

4. Wear comfortable clothing and avoid clothes that keep you hyper-focused on your body all day. 

“It should be a balance between what is physically comfortable, emotionally comfortable, and what keeps you present, even if it doesn’t align with mainstream fashion,” Gordon says. “It’s up to you to find your edge of tolerance—and it may change every day.”

5. Slow down and be present during meals and activities.

 “Engage with food and exercise mindfully, focusing on what makes you feel good, both physically and mentally,” Fattore advises. “This might look like honoring hunger and fullness cues, incorporating rest days, or basing food choices on what sounds most satisfying in the moment.”

6. Use the mirror as a skill-building tool.

 “If you’ve been avoiding mirrors and reflective surfaces, the next time you see yourself in a glass door when walking into a building, decide to look at yourself and say, ‘that's me,’ and then look away,” Gordon says. “It's okay if you find yourself caught by judgment or comparison or negative thoughts afterwards. You have to start somewhere. If you find yourself looking and forgetting what to say, you can always try again. That’s why we call this a practice.”

. “Make a conscious effort to exclude ‘

’ from your conversations—both with yourself and others,” Fattore says.

. “Curate your social media feed!” Gordon says. “Go through and do a cleanse of the profiles you are following that may not be helpful. Then add and follow new accounts that promote body acceptance and body liberation.”

. “Be patient with yourself,” Fattore says. “It can be difficult to shift the way you think about self-talk and body image—give yourself some grace.”

Duvall also reminds those getting acquainted with body neutrality that we can’t always control what we are thinking or what comes up in tough moments. “Our first thought may be a body judgment or critique, no matter how long we’ve been working on challenging them,” she says. But what matters most is what you want that next thought to be.”

If you’re struggling with body image issues and want to take the first step toward a better relationship with your body, you might benefit from Equip’s free body image program, Explore: Freeform. 

Learn more and register for the program here.

“Body Image and Body Liberation.” n.d. Www.uvm.edu. 

https://www.uvm.edu/health/body-image-and-body-liberation

Cowles, Charlotte. 2022. “Can ‘Body Neutrality’ Change the Way You Work Out?” The New York Times, February 2, 2022, sec. Well. 

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/02/well/move/body-neutrality-exercise.html#:~:text=%E2%80%9CBody%20neutrality%20prioritizes%20the%20body%27s

“From New York to Instagram: The History of the Body Positivity Movement.” n.d. BBC Bitesize. 

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Mayo Clinic Staff. 2020. “Mindfulness Exercises.” Mayo Clinic. September 15, 2020. 

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Konstantinovsky, Michelle. 2022. “How to Reframe the Way You Think about Your Body.” Katie Couric Media. June 13, 2022. 

https://katiecouric.com/health/what-is-difference-between-body-neutrality-and-positivity/

Smith, Leah. 2023. “#Ableism – Center for Disability Rights.” Cdrnys.org. 2023. 

https://cdrnys.org/blog/uncategorized/ableism/

How Body Neutrality Can Help in Eating Disorder Recovery

When you’re consumed by an eating disorder, gaining weight can feel extremely scary and like the worst possible outcome. However, it’s often a non-negotiable aspect of healing your body and mind and is 

 is another scenario in which weight gain is essential, and this can be challenging for anyone living in a world where weight gain is considered inherently negative. For those in eating disorder recovery, however, this weight gain can be especially fraught. As an expecting mother living in recovery and an eating disorder dietitian, today I’ll share some truths about pregnancy weight gain in recovery, how weight stigma can impact your experience, and ways to deal with gaining weight during such a pivotal time in your life.

Pregnancy weight gain in eating disorder recovery

First, it’s important to note that having an active eating disorder has adverse consequences on pregnancy. A 

 from 2020 shows that having an active eating disorder while pregnant is related to anxiety and depression, as well as negative outcomes for mom and baby, including miscarriages and premature births. Another 

 from 2021 shows eating disorder symptoms during pregnancy can make both pregnancy and delivery more complicated. Eating disorders in pregnancy can also lead to 

, dehydration, and cardiac abnormalities.

 showed that pregnant mothers who were underweight before conception were at higher risk of delivering low-weight babies compared to those who were not underweight. “If a patient needs 

 prior to pregnancy, it’s recommended that they gain weight before getting pregnant,” says registered dietitian 

But regardless of whether weight gain is needed before pregnancy, it’s almost always essential 

 pregnancy, and this can be very difficult for people affected by eating disorders—even those in recovery. According to Equip lead dietitian Dani Castellano, RD, CEDS, there are several reasons why this can be so tough, including:

body image distress that may come from weight gain

nausea or vomiting that could be triggering for someone who has struggled with purging behaviors

societal pressure to “bounce back” to a pre-pregnancy body after giving birth or to lose the weight via breastfeeding

the way pregnant bodies are represented in media as thin bodies with perfectly round bumps

the extra focus and commentary made about pregnant bodies

However, adequate weight gain is critical for the health of you and your baby. In 

, mothers who didn’t gain enough weight were more likely to birth low-weight babies compared to those who gained adequate weight. “Women who receive inadequate nutrition and gain inadequate weight give birth to low-weight infants, which is a risk factor for morbidity and mortality,” explains dietitian 

, who adds that pregnancy weight gain is essential for proper physical and emotional growth. “Infants of low birth weight have a hard time fighting infection, regulating body temperature, and have difficulty eating and potential damage to organs.”

 toxic messaging that pregnant women shouldn’t gain “too much weight,” research indeed shows that not gaining 

 is in fact the riskier outcome. In author Emily Oster’s science-based book 

 she cites four different studies highlighting the adverse side-effects of low-birth-weight babies, which include 

higher mortality rates, serious lung complications

higher diabetes risk, and lower cognitive skills

Weight stigma—or the bias against people because of body size—unfortunately infiltrates every corner of healthcare, including (and perhaps especially) prenatal care. Castellano says two clear ways it shows up are:

1) Being asked to gain less weight if you’re in a larger body

2) Waiting room chairs, medical equipment, and maternity and nursing products that aren’t size-inclusive

People in larger bodies are undoubtedly impacted the most by weight stigma, especially because standard pregnancy 

 are unfortunately based on BMI. This is problematic because BMI is an unreliable measurement of health that was developed 200 years ago by a Belgian mathematician to quickly measure “obesity” (not overall health) in a mostly white and male population. If you live in a larger body and aren’t working with weight-inclusive providers, you’ll likely need to take extra steps to create healthy and safe boundaries that ensure you get the care you need and deserve throughout your pregnancy, and to protect your recovery.

Though weight stigma can be most damaging to pregnant women in larger bodies, those of all body sizes can be negatively impacted by fear-mongering messages about weight in pregnancy. In my experience, nearly every prenatal resource I read encourages gaining enough weight, but often comes with a caveat, like, “but don’t gain too much weight.” In fact, a 

 of pregnant and postpartum women showed nearly one in five felt judged, shamed, or guilty because of their weight in healthcare settings. Regardless of your body size, know that your body will gain adequate weight for your pregnancy when you regularly engage in health-promoting practices that feel realistic for you (many of which are likely a part of your recovery), like eating regular meals and snacks, eating a relative balance of nutrients, doing your best with sleep, and going to your prenatal visits.

How to cope with pregnancy weight gain while in recovery

Here are several strategies to help you navigate gaining weight in your pregnancy while keeping your recovery intact:

At my first prenatal visit with my midwife, I told her about my eating disorder history and explained that I would prefer blind weights (i.e., not seeing my weight on the scale) throughout my pregnancy, and only discussing my weight if I’m not gaining enough to support a healthy pregnancy. Now, toward the end of my pregnancy, I’ve obviously and thankfully gained weight, and we haven’t talked about it since our initial discussion. Personally, not concerning myself with a number that once controlled my life and that I feel is unimportant for me to know—even during pregnancy—feels mentally and emotionally supportive. Although I’m not entirely sure how I would respond to regular open weights for nine months, I’d prefer to protect myself from the potential of feeling more anxiety than I already do growing a human.

Of course, my approach is only one route you can take in your pregnancy. Consider what approach to weighing (blind, open, or less often) feels safest and most supportive of your recovery and go from there. “Have an upfront conversation with your provider about how weight gain will be monitored so you know what to expect and can advocate for your needs at whatever level feels comfortable for you,” Castellano advises.

Stay connected to (or reconnect with) your team. 

If you’re still working with an eating disorder treatment team, continue accepting their support and leaning on them when body changes feel difficult. If it’s been a while since you were in treatment, now is a good time to check back in with your therapist or dietitian (or both) for extra support during a vulnerable time. Your therapist can help you navigate hard emotions around weight gain, and your dietitian can help you stay on track nutritionally and eat to support adequate weight gain and optimal health for you and baby.

If you’re years into recovery and feeling confident in your ability to handle weight gain, it’s a good idea to at least have an eating disorder provider in your back pocket in case the road gets rocky. “Accept that weight gain may trigger past thoughts and feelings that could affect nutrition intake, and be open to start working with a provider who understands both pregnancy needs and eating disorders,” Goldsmith suggests. “This provider can help with education as well as set challenges and hold you accountable as you move through the pregnancy.”

Sometimes, negative body thoughts aren’t about your body at all. In my practice, my clients often have worsening body image when they’re feeling harder emotions or going through significant life changes. When they realize their bodies have become the scapegoat for all their difficult emotions, they’re able to be kinder towards their bodies and deal directly with how they’re feeling. Pregnancy can feel overwhelming and bring a myriad of emotions—both pleasant and unpleasant. So, check in with yourself when negative body thoughts increase and see if there’s a deeper layer of emotion that needs to be addressed. From there, identify what you need emotionally and circle back to coping skills that have helped you endure hard feelings and transitions in your past. One of my go-to coping skills is 

, which includes mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness.

 your body during pregnancy, try reframing negative thoughts about weight gain. “When you have a negative thought about your body, practice shifting the focus to the positives of your body being able to carry a baby and how weight gain supports this process,” Castellano suggests. If positivity feels hard to access, work towards viewing your body and your growing belly as neutrally as possible, starting by writing down each body part and how it functions daily. Revisit your list whenever you start to notice thoughts going south. If it feels right, you may eventually start to extend gratitude (mentally or in writing) towards your body and all that it’s doing to support you and your baby. Additionally, consider unfollowing any social media accounts that worsen your body image and following ones that foster a healthy one during pregnancy, including 

. You might also want to consider taking Equip’s free, self-paced body image program, 

Crystalize your core values for this pregnancy and think about how gaining weight helps you align with them. For example, one of my values is safety for me and my baby, and adequate weight gain is a key factor in cultivating such safety. Another one is holistic health, which includes staying the course of my eating disorder recovery—which, in turn, involves eating 

 and trusting that my body knows what to do, especially with my weight.

So, try writing out your highest values for this time in your life and be sure to include how weight gain will help support them. When the going gets tough, validate your feelings first and apply self-compassion (it’s okay to feel uncomfortable with a drastically changing body, and many women do). Then, revisit your values and remember: growing and birthing a healthy human always requires sufficient weight gain.

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M., Hernández-Morante, J. J., & Martínez-Rodríguez, A. (2020). Eating Disorders in

Pregnant and Breastfeeding Women: A Systematic Review. Medicina, 56(7), 352.

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Sommerfeldt, B., Skårderud, F., Kvalem, I. L., Gulliksen, K. S., & Holte, A. (2022). Bodies out of control: Relapse and worsening of eating disorders in pregnancy. Frontiers in Psychology, 13. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.986217

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Incollingo Rodriguez, A. C., Smieszek, S. M., Nippert, K. E., & Tomiyama, A. J. (2020). Pregnant and postpartum women’s experiences of weight stigma in healthcare. BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth, 20(1). 

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Navigating Pregnancy Weight Gain in Recovery

If Equip’s Director of Lived Experience, JD Ouellette, were to describe back-to-school shopping for her four kids in two words, she would choose “tactical mission.” A self-professed loather of all things shopping-related, Ouellette always did her best to knock out the stressful annual experience in a single day. But when her youngest daughter developed 

, Ouellette’s strategic shopping plans had to shift. “That is not an approach that’s likely to work with a loved one in eating disorder recovery,” she says. “I needed to adjust my expectations.”

Having experienced her own eating disorder, Equip Peer Mentor Amaya Evans knows firsthand the kind of anxiety and distress a yearly clothing restock can evoke. “My back-to-school shopping experiences were always tough,” Evans says. “Struggling with an eating disorder for a good portion of my school years meant my body was often changing in size. After shopping, I often felt really bad about myself and my body.”

There’s no denying that back-to-school shopping can prompt all kinds of feelings for those in recovery, but the experience doesn’t have to be excruciating. By implementing a few simple strategies, families can help avoid intense distress and even find some joy in the process.

 back-to-school shopping so challenging for those in recovery?

As Evans articulates, recovering from an eating disorder often involves a fair amount of weight fluctuation. “Someone who has experienced body changes over the summer break may have fears of others noticing or pointing out those changes upon their return to school,” she says. “When you’re struggling with an eating disorder, shopping in general can be a challenge because you’re coming face-to-face with dressing room mirrors, repeatedly trying on pieces of clothing, and struggling to find sizes that fit comfortably. Adding these fears can make clothing shopping even more intense than it already may be for someone struggling with an eating disorder.”

The process can also provoke emotional uneasiness rooted in comparison. “Back-to-school shopping always felt really anxiety-inducing for me,” says Equip Admissions Operations Coordinator Jerica Mosello. “I had one particular peer I always did back-to-school shopping with that was much leaner and slightly taller than me. It felt like we were pitted against each other and I would dread the experience every summer.”