Despite all the wonderful things the body positivity movement has brought to the world, it’s understandable why so many people struggle with the concept. How can we be “positive” about our bodies when it seems like everything—from movies and magazines to social media posts and even IRL friends and family—have conditioned us to feel the opposite?

While my own negative ideas about my body were shaped decades ago, I see how hard it might be for young people today to build their own body confidence in a world that continues to celebrate extreme thinness while disparaging just about everything outside of that. With the continued proliferation of AI filters, cosmetic procedures, and weight loss drugs, it seems like it’s become increasingly harder to opt out of comparison and truly like our unique bodies for what they are.

If you feel like you don’t like your body, you’re anything but alone. Research has shown that body image, weight, and shape concerns can start as young as five years old (with body size stereotypes being internalized as young as three). The issue is highly prevalent among young people, with 24-46% of adolescent girls and 12-26% of adolescent boys reporting dissatisfaction with their bodies. Early adolescence is thought to be a particularly vulnerable time for unhealthy behaviors to be normalized, setting the stage for long-term negative body image and insecurities.

Occasionally feeling less than positive about your body isn’t necessarily a sign of trouble. But chronically being down on yourself because of your weight, shape, or other physical characteristics can be risky, and lead to a cascade of negative health consequences. The good news is that despite the abundance of triggers in our current cultural moment, there are expert strategies for combatting negative body thoughts—both in the moment and over time. Read on for tips and tricks to overcome not liking your body.

Why you may dislike your body

First thing’s first: feeling bad about your body isn’t your fault. Most of us are bombarded by messages from every direction that tell us our bodies aren’t “good enough” for any number of reasons. And in this climate, it can unfortunately feel rare or unusual to actually like your body. Below are a few of the many contributors to body dissatisfaction:

Diet culture

When we talk about the inescapable societal agreement that thin bodies are more desirable than other body types, we’re talking about diet culture. This set of beliefs not only deems thinner bodies to be more attractive, but also morally “better.” “Diet culture plays such a pivotal role in how we view ourselves and those around us,” says Equip Therapy Lead Jonathan Levine, LCSW. “So many of us are taught—both explicitly and implicitly—that most of our value comes from our bodies, and that that value is really tied to being thin and being muscular.” In other words, when we believe our worth is tied to our bodies, and that our bodies must look a certain way in order to have value, it’s inevitable that many people will feel inadequate.

Social commentary

While diet culture is widespread and shows up on a societal level, it trickles down to individual people and relationships, shaping dynamics and conversations in a way that can negatively impact body image. “It starts on a larger level, but it hits us individually,” Levine says. “So we hear these comments from our friends, our family—sometimes we even hear them from ourselves—and we tell ourselves that we need to look a certain way to really reach our goals or feel valued.”

Diet culture messages can affect not only your own body image, but also your attitude toward other people’s bodies, which can then create a self-perpetuating cycle of body dissatisfaction among groups of people. “The larger cultural experience becomes the individual experience, which can make us feel bad about our bodies,” Levine says. “And often, when we feel bad about our bodies, we scrutinize other people in the same way we scrutinize ourselves, so it’s this kind of cyclone of judgment and criticism, because how we talk to ourselves is often how we talk to others.”

Personal history and/or trauma

Having negative personal experiences or any type of trauma can also play a large role in how we perceive our bodies. “So often, when someone experiences trauma, that can come with a sensation like a loss of control, as well as an unjust world,” Levine says. “And sometimes when we feel like we're totally out of control of our lives, we try to regain control where we can; and what many people do is try to change their bodies by changing what they eat or engaging in really intense exercise, trying to regain that control. Initially, it may make them feel more in control, but sadly, in time, it creates less stability, because it becomes so compulsive that the control controls them.”

The negative effects of disliking your body

It probably comes as no surprise that disliking your body can result in a number of negative consequences, ranging from insecurity to strained relationships, and even an increased risk for eating disorders. According to Levine, the following are common effects of body dissatisfaction:

• Reduced self-esteem
• Lower self-worth
• Isolation and avoiding friends
• Negative self-talk (which can lead to less kindness toward others)
• Low mood

And while not everyone who dislikes their body will necessarily contend with a clinical mental health condition, it’s important to know that body dissatisfaction is a major predictor of eating disorders. “It can spiral, creating more issues like depression, anxiety, substance use, or being impulsive in behaviors with other people, whether it's socially, sexually, or otherwise,” Levine says. “And those things can compound and lead you to developing a full-on eating disorder. The good news is, if you catch it early on in one capacity, you can really stop it from spiraling.”

What to do in the moment when negative body thoughts arise

Realistically, just about everyone will experience negative body thoughts from time to time. While they can lead to uncomfortable feelings, these thoughts are understandable, given the many ways our society reinforces body dissatisfaction. Here are some expert strategies to cope with these thoughts in the moment:

Notice and name the thoughts

“I'm a big fan of just noticing them,” Levine says. “So often, we'll be scrutinizing ourselves repeatedly, being quite cruel and not even aware of it. You may have a running dialogue in your brain all day and you don’t even notice it. Just cultivating awareness to better understand how you're talking to yourself is really a big piece. Once you're able to notice that, then you can try to reframe the thoughts.”

Shut down body or diet talk

Sometimes our negative body thoughts are a direct reaction to hearing others talk about their bodies or their diets, weight loss plans, etc. Rather than allowing these conversations to continue around you or participating in the “normalized” rhetoric, consider changing the subject or excusing yourself from the dialogue. Or, if you feel up for it, think about speaking up and expressing why this kind of talk is harmful to everyone involved.

Make subtle shifts in your self-talk

“Instead of saying, ‘I love my body,’ try ‘I see my body supporting me today,’ or ‘I appreciate my body keeping me warm in this really cold weather,’ or ‘I can see that my body is strong because I was able to go for a long walk today,’” Levine says. “There are more neutral things we can look at that have less to do with thinness and our perception of our weight and image and more to do with our body’s function. Then maybe from that neutrality, we can move towards positivity in time.”

Focus on the good thoughts

“We all have bad body image days, but sometimes you have good body image days too,” Levine says. “I would urge you to try to focus on the good as much as the negative or the neutral. Try to create a holistic perspective.”

How to improve your long-term relationship with your body

Cultivating and maintaining a healthy, positive relationship with your body long-term takes time and effort. But consistency is key, and with practice, you can develop a kind, compassionate connection that will positively affect other parts of your life, as well as your relationships to those around you.

As Levine mentioned, working toward body neutrality is a helpful first step. While body positivity is an important concept and can be a good goal to strive for, many people find body neutrality to be a more realistic midpoint between negativity and self-love. It involves appreciating and respecting your body without needing to unconditionally love everything about yourself.

Rather than rooting your self-worth in your physical appearance, body neutrality can help shift the focus and reframe your identity, with your body playing just one small part of who you are overall. “It's pretty impossible to go from feeling negative about your body to feeling positive,” Levine says. “But we can try to shift to a more neutral place and then go into positivity at a later point.”

One of the most impactful ways to combat body dissatisfaction is education and professional guidance. “I would really recommend doing some therapy to talk through body image stuff and to talk about society,” Levine says. “I highly recommend looking through an intersectional feminist lens, because it can really show all the layers of how our culture impacts us—a lot of which is really subtle and hard to catch.”

If you’re unsure where to start, consider Freeform, Equip’s free, self-paced, virtual module designed to help people 13 years old and up build awareness of harmful appearance ideals and practice new ways to push back against them.

Overall, body dissatisfaction is a normal—albeit unfortunate—consequence of living in our modern society: we’re taught from a very young age to pick our bodies apart and compare ourselves to specific, unrealistic, and even digitally or surgically altered ideals. While we can all experience feelings of disliking our bodies from time to time, feeling chronically negative about your weight, shape, or physical appearance can take a serious toll, impacting your mood, relationships, and health. It’s important to remember that your body is not the problem or the obstacle standing between you and happiness—happiness is something you deserve right now, in the body you’re in.

“The main thing is to give yourself grace,” Levine says. “Undoing a lifetime of messaging is really hard and it doesn't happen quickly. If you have good days, that's great; just acknowledge you're probably gonna have bad days too. And a bad day doesn't mean you're not making progress. The world wants us to be thinking in black and white because we're easier to manipulate that way. Trying to cultivate a sense of living in the gray is really critical for body image, for well-being, and for cultivating a better life.”

Free program to improve body imageEquip’s evidence-based, self-paced program helps you push back against diet culture and build a better relationship with your body.

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