Eating disorders thrive in secrecy. One of the trickiest things about treating these illnesses is that often, the person affected hides their symptoms and disordered behaviors, either because they’re ashamed or because they actively don’t want to get better. This doesn’t mean that people with eating disorders are inherently sneaky or dishonest; rather, it shows how effectively eating disorders hijack the brain and do everything they can to stay in control—which often means being secretive. This secrecy applies to a wide range of eating disorder symptoms, but a big one is eating in secret.

Read on to learn more about why many people with eating disorders eat secretly, what conditions secret eating is associated with, why it can be harmful, and how to stop.

What does secret eating look like?

Secret eating is when someone eats in a furtive, covert way, which includes concealing the evidence of eating. It’s different from just eating alone, which can be totally normal—the difference is that someone engaged in secret eating has purposely and carefully planned their eating to make sure nobody will witness it, while someone might simply eat alone for any number of different reasons. A good question to ask is, “would I be upset or ashamed if someone walked in on me eating right now?” If the answer is yes, it’s secret eating.

Secret eating can take many different forms: it can mean eating a small amount of food or a large amount of food, and can involve a loss of control or not. “Secret eating can look like saying, ‘I already ate,’ rarely eating with other people, or eating late at night,” says Equip therapist Pepper Snider, MA.

Secret eating is a form of disordered eating, and it can be both a symptom of an eating disorder and an early warning sign that an eating disorder is developing. It can happen at any age, though research shows that secret eating can often emerge in childhood and, among young people, it’s associated with eating disorder psychopathology.

What causes some people with eating disorders to eat in secret?

There are a number of reasons why someone with an eating disorder might eat in secret. Some of the most common reasons are:

A desire to protect the eating disorder. Eating disorders are self-protective illnesses, and one of the ways they protect themselves is through secrecy. A lot (most, in fact) of disordered behaviors occur in private as a way to protect or keep hidden the eating disorder. People with eating disorders might exercise in secret, purge secretly, or engage in body checking behaviors secretly, as well as eat in secret.

Shame or fear of judgment. “Eating in secret can be a common symptom of an eating disorder, as people can experience feelings of guilt and shame for their behaviors,” says Snider. According to research, secretive eating may reflect eating- or body-related shame, and is associated with both depression and binge eating behaviors. Some people who eat in secret may have been previously judged or shamed by what or how or how much they eat, and so they’ve come to prefer to eat in secret.

To cope with negative emotions. Food can be a source of comfort for people. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it can become a disordered behavior, especially if food is a person’s only coping technique, or if they can only find that comfort and release when eating alone. In fact, research shows that children with symptoms of depression are five times more likely to eat in secret.

What eating disorders are associated with secret eating?

The research on secret eating mostly focuses on its relationship to binge eating: according to studies, 54% of people with binge eating disorder (BED) report secretive eating distinct from objective binge episodes. However, secret eating isn’t always associated with BED, and it’s common for people with anorexia, bulimia, or OSFED to also eat in secret. “Eating in secret can be a symptom in all eating disorders,” says Snider.

Negative consequences and risks of secret eating

Eating in secret can harm both physical and mental health as well as quality of life. Research shows that adults who engage in secret eating have more eating disorder pathology (i.e., more severe symptoms) and worse overall mental health, and tend to place more value on their shape or weight. In young people, secretive eating is associated with a higher risk of developing an eating disorder, and a greater risk of depression.

Eating in secret can also take a toll on relationships, emotional well-being, and daily life. When a person will only or mostly eat in secret, it disrupts their life: they withdraw socially (often making up lies for why they can’t attend events with food), their relationships suffer, and their dysfunctional relationship with food gets more entrenched. “Feelings of guilt and shame can keep the secretive eating cycle going,” says Snider. “It can impact connection with others and prevent people from getting help.”

How is secret eating addressed in eating disorder treatment?

The first step of eating disorder treatment is almost always to normalize eating habits, which means sticking to a regular schedule of balanced meals and snacks throughout the day. Usually, these meals and snacks are eaten with others—either treatment providers or supports—which naturally minimizes both the opportunity and the urge to eat in secret.

Secret eating can also be addressed more directly if necessary. Says Snider, “eating in secret can be addressed with exposure, practicing eating in front of others and processing the emotions or thoughts that come up when breaking the secretive eating cycle.”

What to do if you or a loved one is struggling with secret eating

If you find that you’re frequently hiding your eating or finding ways to eat in secret—or have noticed someone in your life is doing this—it could signal an eating disorder. And even if an eating disorder isn’t the underlying cause, secret eating can still damage your mental and physical health, and disrupt your relationships and quality of life.

Regardless of the root cause of secret eating, you need help to stop this harmful behavior. Talk with your doctor or an eating disorder-informed dietitian about your concerns, and they can guide you toward resources and strategies to help shift this behavior. You can also schedule a consultation with the Equip team to talk through your concerns and what treatment options are available.