If you've made it this far through the holidays, take a moment to celebrate. This time of year can be hard for anyone, and especially so for people navigating eating disorder treatment. But just as the major December festivities pass, it’s time to get ready for the bombardment of “new year, new you” messaging on TV, social media, subway ads, and more.

Although setting goals to improve yourself isn't a bad thing, per se, New Year's resolutions often have two problems: First, people don't tend to follow through on them. According to one recent study, about 64 percent of people abandon their commitments within a month—and failure to reach your resolution may make you feel worse about yourself. Second, the vast majority of year-end goals are centered around diets, weight loss, and fitness, which makes the whole resolution business particularly problematic for those in eating disorder recovery. If you or a loved one are working toward recovery (or in recovery), this might be triggering, or even cause a slide back into disordered eating and exercise habits

If you feel tempted to “improve” yourself this January with diet or fitness-related resolutions, we encourage you to keep reading. Learning why so many resolutions are rooted in physical appearance—and how to successfully strive for something more meaningful—can help you create resolutions that are aligned with your values and put you on track to follow through with those goals.

Why diet-focused New Year’s resolutions are harmful

“It’s totally understandable in our current culture why, when we think about a time of change and transformation, we think about changing our bodies to be more ‘acceptable’ and ‘healthy,’” says Equip therapist Kirstin Quinn Siegel, LMFT. “We have so many messages—constantly, every day—bombarding us with false ideas about health, body size, and what will make us happy.”

The desire to be accepted is completely natural. The problem, Siegel says, is that diet culture has co-opted and capitalized upon these very fundamental and basic human needs. “Diet culture tells us that thinner bodies are better in every way and larger bodies are potential projects to be changed and ‘transformed’ by any means necessary,” she says. This mindset is damaging for anyone with a body, and particularly for people living with an eating disorder or disordered eating.See, whether a resolution is about a particular weight, a fitness goal, or simply being “healthier”, many of these ambitions are associated with achieving a specific number, following certain “rules” about eating or exercise, and other rigid practices. These things are common signs of disordered eating and, in turn, may fuel unhealthy habits that people in recovery are working so hard to let go of.

On top of all that, body-centric resolutions are often unsustainable. As many of us have experienced, restrictive eating can often lead to bingeing and an unhealthy relationship with food; and your body can handle only so much exercise before it starts causing injury, messing with your sleep, or leaving you tired all the time, among other negative effects. Adding insult to injury, failing to reach a goal can trigger or increase anxiety and depression.

How diet culture shapes our resolutions

If “new year, new you” messaging is so harmful...why is it everywhere? Because it sells, and the timing couldn’t be more perfect for those looking to profit.

At the end of the year, we celebrate Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, New Years, and often more. For most people, these holidays are not only a time to gather with loved ones, they're also a time to connect over food. And the message we tend to hear about this eating centers around guilt and “overindulging.”

No matter how little or much we actually eat, companies know we may think we “overdid it”—so they take advantage of that opportunity to sell us their weight-loss program, cleanse, workout plan, detoxification, or other “quick fix.” And since January 1 is approaching, they promote their product as a way to kick off the new year with a bang and “improve” yourself.

The fact is, focusing on external changes like weight loss detracts from holistic health goals. When you fixate on a number, it not only casts a lot of gray area into black and white, it’s also arbitrary and fleeting: no specific weight or size makes you “healthy” or “unhealthy,” and all too often, the target for these goals keeps moving (you continue to want to lose more and more).

On the other hand, resolutions that promote positive body image, a healthy relationship with food, and simply feeling good support both your physical and your mental health, and help you listen to and trust your inner voice. These are the types of changes that ultimately lead to confidence, fulfillment, and real well-being.

How can you make an actually healthy resolution?

In a world where “clean” eating (whatever that means) and a “more-is-more” attitude about exercise are so widely considered to be good things—despite evidence otherwise—it can be tough to know what a “healthy” resolution actually entails.

For starters, it helps to remember that “health” is not about a number on the scale or arbitrary body-based goals. It’s about doing things that positively impact your mental, physical, and emotional well-being. With that in mind, here are some tips to help guide you toward resolutions that promote real health.

Set intrinsic resolutions

“A key aspect of a supportive resolution is that it comes from an intrinsic desire and is aligned with your values,” says Equip Peer Mentor Stacy Jones. “Having resolutions that are intrinsically driven means they aren't about others seeing you a certain way, or about what you ‘should’ do. It is something truly for you that will support your most expansive and aligned life.”

Seek joy, not guilt

As Equip co-founder and Chief Clinical Officer Dr. Erin Parks, PhD puts it, no one should be “should”-ing themselves when setting their resolutions: “A healthy resolution is one that makes you happy when you think about doing it—and doesn't make you feel guilty when you think about not doing it.” To her point, Parks picks a resolution each year that's based around learning a new skill or engaging in an activity she’s always wanted to try. One year it was knitting, another year it was surfing. “It’s not about changing myself—I certainly am not becoming a knitter or a surfer. Instead, I wanted to have the experience of learning how to do something,” she says. “And if I hadn't followed through and didn’t actually learn to surf, I wouldn't have felt guilty about it.”

Determine your “why”

To prevent slipping into the “should” mentality (even when setting non-body-based goals) Siegel suggests finding the reason behind the resolution and asking yourself what purpose it serves. Park agrees, adding that you may have to ask yourself several times to help you set the right intention. “When making a resolution, ask yourself why you're resolving to do it, and when you think you've answered it, ask ‘why’ again,” she says. “So if your answer is ‘to be healthy’, what does healthy mean to you? Why do you want to be healthy? Maybe it’s, ‘I want to be healthy so that I can have the energy to play with my grandkids.’ If it’s, ‘I want to drink more water,’ and you say it’s because you want to ‘be healthy’, maybe what you really want is to feel in control of your health. So maybe that means trying to have a regular sleep schedule, and it's not actually about drinking more water. Figure out what you're really saying and be honest with yourself.”

Take your mental health into account

Resolutions don’t have to be about physical health; your mental health matters just as much. “Characteristics of a ‘healthy’ resolution might include practicing daily acceptance of where you are, just as you are, and turning focus inward to the state of your nervous system and mental well-being first,” says Equip Family Mentor Inga Yanoski. “‘Healthy’ goals might include gratitude, intentional rest, and achievable resolutions that don’t have anything to do with physical transformation or diets. Like focusing on joyful movement rather than movement that is coming from a place of ‘I should,’or a resolution of giving oneself permission to say ‘no’ instead of always saying ‘yes.’”

Be honest

If you currently struggle with disordered eating or an eating disorder or have in the past, be honest with yourself about whether it’s you or the eating disorder setting goals. Take the time to have a heart-to-heart with yourself (and any professionals or loved ones who are part of your support team). You'll know in your gut who's controlling the steering wheel.

Work with your team

If you're in treatment for an eating disorder, loop your therapist and other healthcare providers in on your resolution-making process. They can work with you to help you determine whether setting resolutions could be helpful or harmful in supporting recovery. And if it could help, together you can brainstorm ideas of resolutions that promote your physical and mental health.

Alternatives to diet-focused resolutions

If we can agree that weight loss- and appearance-focused resolutions are more likely than not to result in disappointment at best—and trigger or exacerbate disordered behaviors at worst—how can people (both in recovery and otherwise) go about setting end-of-year goals that will help them feel happier and healthier?

Jones believes it may help to initially switch up the language that describes New Year ambitions. “What I really like to do is set ‘intentions’ for the New Year instead of ‘resolutions,’” she says. “This allows me to view my life in a holistic way and consider how I want to feel in it.”

Yanoski agrees that the semantics can make a big psychological impact: “Setting an intention takes the pressure off of ‘resolving’ to do something. It softens the rigidity and the rules that come along with a resolution,” she says. (This is particularly important for those in recovery, as rigidity is often characteristic of an eating disorder mentality.)

Non-weight goals

Only you know which intentions are best for you. To help you, here are some goals to inspire your brainstorming:

• Engage in joyful movement
• Prioritize sleep hygiene
• Develop hobbies, like gardening or learning a new skill
• Volunteer in the community
• Practice deep compassion for myself
• Heal my relationship to food and my body
• Take a cooking class with a friend or partner
• Travel more
• Read or write daily

How to stick to your goals

Setting resolutions is one thing. Sticking to them so you reach your goals is another. While you should allow yourself grace to not “achieve” everything on your list, these tips can help you continue moving toward your intentions for the year:

• Journal your progress: Sometimes, an end goal can seem far away. But if you record your progress daily or weekly, you'll see the small improvements that you're making, and that will eventually lead you to achieving your big goal. As a bonus, this process helps you stay motivated, because success inspires success.
• Find accountability: It's easy to ditch a resolution when nobody else knows about it. But when you tell one person (or more), suddenly you're accountable for your goal. You could schedule regular check-ins with your accountability buddy or reach out when you need support. Either way, just by them being aware of your intention, they’ll help keep you on track.
• Stay flexible: If you find yourself struggling to stick with a resolution, pause for a moment and have another honest conversation with yourself. Do you truly want this intention, or have your desires shifted? It's perfectly acceptable to change your mind and drop or adjust a resolution at any time of the year, especially if doing so aligns with your inner values.

Tips for dismantling diet culture in January and beyond

Let's face it: Although the new year is one time when diet culture is particularly rampant, it can make an appearance in our lives any day of the year. The tips below can help you stay strong and avoid its influence.

Curate your social media

Instagram, TikTok, and other platforms can be sources of knowledge and connection, but there's also a lot of misinformation and deception. Unfollow any accounts that make you feel worse about yourself, promote unhealthy behaviors, or produce weight-centric content.

Adopt body neutrality

Body neutrality is a mindset where you appreciate and respect your body for what it can do, rather than focusing on how it looks. This can help you better value yourself based on your internal worth, not your external appearance.

Consider intuitive eating

This practice helps many people develop a more positive relationship with food. With intuitive eating, you give up any “food rules” and instead listen and respond to your body's cues about what and when to eat. This practice embraces all the reasons we eat: for nourishment, pleasure, socialization, and more. If you’re in eating disorder treatment or recovery, talk with your care team or a dietitian about whether intuitive eating is a good choice for you. It can be a very supportive and empowering practice, but it’s not for everyone at every stage of recovery.

Set boundaries

If friends or family engage in diet or weight talk, you can let them know you don't want to be part of that discussion. Simply say, “I'd rather not talk about food. Let's talk about [other topic].” Or you could try something like, “I'm trying to keep a positive outlook about my body. Can we change the topic?” If they ask questions, you can explain your feelings—but you don't have to.

How to support loved ones in avoiding diet-centered resolutions

If New Year's resolutions are triggering for a loved one (and especially if they struggle with body image or eating) you can be a source of solace this time of year. By being more mindful of resolution-related triggers, you can help them set intentions that align with their true selves.

Foster positive conversations about goals

Making resolutions can cause us to focus on what's “wrong” with us and what “needs” to change. This doesn't make anyone feel good. Instead, center these discussions around how your loved one can feel even better than they do today. It may help to begin their resolution brainstorm by having them think of all the awesome things about them, then considering how they might build upon those things.

Use neutral language

Remember, we want to avoid diet or weight talk. If your loved one brings up a resolution that's even somewhat related to these things, help them off the slippery slope. You can ask them why they want to set their suggested resolution. Once you get at the real underlying intention, you can suggest a body-neutral goal. Such resolutions may be about starting a new hobby, practicing self-compassion, or doing something each day that makes them happy.

The Equip takeaway: Embrace intentions over resolutions

While experts advise avoiding any “shoulds” in resolution-setting, there’s one exception: at the end of the day (or year!), your resolution “should” be rooted in your true values and inspire feelings of joy, excitement, and inspiration. Body-focused goals don’t take these feelings into consideration, stemming instead from a diet culture mentality that often evokes feelings of shame and unworthiness—feelings that are awful for everyone, and possibly dangerous to those affected by eating disorders.

Instead, lean into activities, hobbies, and behaviors that enrich your life, your relationships, and your sense of self, goals that are much more likely to stick and that help you evolve into the person you’re striving to be. “Clean slates can be really exciting,” Parks says. “I think the new year is an opportunity for us to be introspective, to be reflective, and to look back on the previous year. And it's an opportunity to celebrate, give ourselves grace, and then think about what we want to do next.”

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