Another year, another holiday season capped by some not-so-subtle pressure to set a New Year’s resolution. While goal-setting can be a great thing, New Year’s resolutions specifically can be not only tough to stick to, but actually harmful to eating disorder recovery. In fact, about 64% of people give up on their resolutions within the first month (often leading to feelings of discouragement or disappointment), and most resolutions tend to focus on dieting, weight loss, or fitness—all of which can be incredibly triggering and even dangerous to those recovering from eating disorders.

The good news for resolution-motivated people is that purposeful, intentional language and mindful goal-setting can actually support eating disorder recovery, according to experts. If you or a loved one are committed to setting a New Year’s resolution but concerned about how it might impact recovery, read on for insights and tips for creating helpful, healing resolutions this year.

Why most New Year’s resolutions are harmful

According to licensed marriage and family therapist Tessa Gordon, LMFT, the majority of typical New Year’s resolutions can be harmful and anti-recovery for a few reasons. “Mainly, they come from the idea of wiping the slate clean and starting over, starting fresh,” she says. “They’re often rigid and goal-oriented, encouraging black-and-white thinking. Typical resolutions center around the ideas of self-improvement, wellness, weight loss, and transformation. They thrive on shame and guilt as motivators.”

Another reason resolutions can be problematic is the fact that so many of them focus on what a person is going to get rid of, cut out, restrict, or abstain from, rather than what they are going to add to their lives. “At the heart, typical resolutions are about exerting control and absolutes,” Gordon says. “Recovery is the opposite of this. In recovery, we are looking for ways to live in the rainbow, not the black or white. We are looking for ways to encourage flexibility over rigidity, foster self compassion, and reduce shame and guilt.”

A third red flag is the pressure to adhere to specific “rules” of transformation (which, unfortunately, are often rooted in diet culture). “Resolutions tend to be arbitrary and one-size-fits-all, whereas recovery really should be about where you are at,” says licensed marriage and family therapist Alyssa Mass, LMFT. “We want a New Year's resolution to meet you where you are now. Resolutions tend to follow a societal list of rules. And I think a lot of recovery involves breaking down perceived rules in society, understanding how those might apply to us in our own personal lives.”

And finally, another harmful aspect of typical resolutions is the concept that a person can (or should) change their whole life, their values, or ideas in a single day. “New Year’s resolutions perpetuate the idea that change needs to happen on a specific day, when the reality is, there is nothing magical about January first,” Gordon says. “Every moment of every day is an opportunity to create change, do something different, shift a habit, take up a new behavior.”

How to approach New Year’s resolutions in a recovery-supporting way

While the majority of messaging around New Year’s resolutions always seems to focus on diet, weight loss, and exercise, that doesn’t mean you have to fall into the trap of diet culture. In addition, you don’t even have to think of a New Year’s resolution as a “fix” for something “wrong.”

“Instead of thinking about resolutions as a response to something that is wrong or problematic, it can be helpful to think about what you want instead,” Gordon says. “I prefer thinking about New Year's intentions instead of resolutions. Less rule-focused, and less rigid. Intentions are flexible, and values-based. They encourage the person to think about how you want to be, feel, and manifest in their life, and explore why that is important to them and be curious about possible actions to support those intentions.”

Rather than following the traditional resolution-setting route, consider applying this goal-driven practice to your own healing journey. “If you're really set on a New Year's resolution, think about how that resolution connects to your recovery,” Mass says. “They should be linked, so one should influence the other. The recovery process should be taken into account when coming up with any sort of New Year's resolution. It’s important to think, ‘where am I at in my recovery?’ and ‘how do I want to support that?’”

5 recovery-supporting resolutions

With your own health and happiness in mind (or the health and happiness of your loved one), here are five recovery-supporting resolutions to consider making this year:

Keep going.

While this one may seem simple, staying committed to recovery can be incredibly challenging, especially in the face of so many contradicting messages from the outside world. It can take a lot of strength and resilience to persevere amidst all the constant noise, so resolving to move forward can be a big motivator. “Keep building on whatever it is that you're doing,” Mass advises. “And whatever is working, keep doing it.”

Nourish yourself physically and emotionally.

So much of early eating disorder recovery focuses (purposefully and necessarily) on physical re-nourishment and prioritizing proper meals and snacks. While this portion of treatment is absolutely essential, it can be challenging, which is why it’s also important to nourish your emotional side as well. Build your resolution around finding ways to feel fulfilled, whether that’s through rewarding hobbies, regular chats with friends, good books, or quality time with pets. Make sure your emotional needs are being met, right alongside your physical needs.

Intend to cultivate meaningful relationships.

While a strong support system can be a game-changer when it comes to eating disorder recovery, not every person is lucky enough to have a close circle of friends. It’s not necessary to be part of a big social group, but cultivating deep, trusting connections with a few family members or friends can make a significant impact on the recovery process. If possible, resolve to strengthen your connections with those closest to you by making time for regular meet-ups, FaceTimes, phone calls, or even text exchanges.

Be patient with yourself, wherever you are.

“Recovery is not a straight line, so be patient with whatever the New Year brings and stay grounded in recovery,” Mass says. “This means you're going to stay grounded in the goal and progress is going to look different for everybody—we can only measure against ourselves.”

Prioritize rest when your body needs it.

The vast majority of typical New Year’s resolutions focus on hustling, grinding, and essentially working yourself to exhaustion—none of this behavior supports recovery. Rather than further exacerbating the disconnection between your brain and body, focus on finding ways to listen and respond to your physical needs. While it may be challenging to hone in on your hunger and fullness cues in early recovery, you can start to foster a stronger connection with your body by noticing when you need sleep, a nap, or just a quiet moment of reflection. By allowing yourself to rest when your body calls for it, you’ll continue building a strong foundation for lasting recovery.

As another new year begins, remember that recovery doesn’t require a specific deadline or a perfectly worded resolution. Just by showing up for yourself consistently, you’re doing more than enough to move toward lasting healing. But if you’re the type of person who finds goal-setting to feel supportive, there are ways you can gently approach New Year’s resolutions with flexibility and self-compassion. Above all, continue to be kind to yourself and keep in mind that even when progress feels slow or stalled, you’re still moving forward. January 1st can feel like a nice restart, but there’s nothing magical about that date—every day offers the chance to start fresh, adjust your approach, or simply meet yourself where you are.